Do You Want Another Band Aid?


Often the simplest questions are the most difficult to answer. This innocent-looking question by my spiritual teacher GD stuck with me through a difficult phase in my life. And unlike what it sounds, he wasn’t offering to dress up my emotional wounds and soothe me with feel-good platitudes. He was offering me a choice: ‘do you want another band-aid or do you want to heal the wound?’

I don’t recall the exact conversation but I cannot forget the essence. GD was discussing with a bunch of us how we use jobs and relationships like band-aids to cover our wounds, and how our entire struggle in life is to keep them intact. Beneath clinging to an unfulfilling job, he was explaining, was often the fear of facing a deep-rooted sense of uselessness. Couples cling to unhappy relationships and marriages to avoid loneliness. Some become chronic people-pleasers to avoid the fear of…

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